Let me tell a short story.
Once upon a time in the land of the living, there was a couple of amazing pretty ladies who thought the world of themselves. In the very next world beside them, there lived a lot of rugged yet cute mature guys.
Do they complement each other? Do they match? Should they co-exist? Your thoughts…
So know that a relationship could be determined by appearances but will not depend on it. Does that confuse you?
How in the world do you expect me to stay with someone I am not attracted to? Tell me, how?
Here is the thing for me…
I must like the idea of this person before I can consider the thought of spending the rest of my life with such person. I must feel a sort of attachment towards this person or should I say I must feel like there is a chance of some sort of intimacy with this person. There must be a physical attraction, else truth is… It most likely won’t work, like
kolewerk! LOL. For this reason, we have to get it right, and right from the very beginning.
Loops generally mean loose ends, areas not taken care of or where necessary cautions for prevention were not properly addressed (were not put in place), or maybe where issues have arose and still, negligent act is employed instead of proper measures for repair.
So we can tell that a relationship loop is the gap left dormant, filled with faults from both partners. Yes, for me, it is as simple a conclusion as that.
From counselling I personally have been exposed to the many kinds that occur in relationships and I must say that they are most times the minutest, only that very little attention is given to it due to lack of information or nonchalance thereby allowing it to tarry longer than necessary. And this I say is the fault that comes with it from the partners involved in that relationship.
You will agree with me that so many times that there seems to be loops in a relationship, it is because of the ‘relaxed’ effort from either or both of the partners. Yes, a careless act by one of the two people who promised to stay committed to each other. A relaxed affection towards making that ‘thing’ they ought to be passionate about work. A non-challant or ‘given up’-unspoken decision towards the proposed love fairy tale.
Let me start by talking about the many kinds of loopholes evident in relationships that may not even have been noticed by the parties involved or maybe noticed but not given attention to, perhaps discarded as insignificant.
I continue my story here…
So the paths of these two very different groups of sexes are fortunate enough to be jingled into one another, and at this stage romance erupts. But masked in too much luxury of self –affection, pride takes over.
Let me divert here a bit.
So many times in a new relationship (especially those who probably took long before getting involved with someone other than themselves, or those single ones who have thoroughly taught themselves self-love but have now gone the ‘west-side’ with it, lol), one of the parties in that relationship now takes so much delight in self and forgets to carry the other person along. Here is my piece…
You allow obsessive self-love take over your mind thereby helping you ignore your partner’s needs and desires. You let your unknowing un-sharing heart/mind deprive your partner of the right affections from you: also making you forget that you are no longer the only person to be considered when it comes to things of the heart and decision
making and time commitment; the act of romantic love-sharing – here, the knowledge of the fact that you two are (or will be) no longer just two separate bodies but one will come into play as the way you treat your own self and how you want to be treated should now be measured by how you treat and respond to your partner.
Remember I was saying earlier in this write-up about how the appearance and attractiveness of the person I am to get involved with is one of my key ways to a lasting relationship? True. But don’t misinterpret that to mean that is my key criteria for determining who I will get involved with… wrong. As much as I am one who appreciate the physical attributes of people (don’t worry, I am not wayward or stupid), I can tell you that I have stopped using that as a yardstick of qualification. Why? I’ve learnt better; I have become more exposed to life’s lessons; I have come to understand what really is important and what passes and fades as time goes. This, my dear I say is life. Appearances cannot keep a relationship; the right attitude will. Physical attributes cannot maintain a solid communication; commitment will. Prettiness cannot “afford” (I mean sponsor) a relationship; hard work will. Mere carriage cannot be the rock of a relationship; Character can. Sadly there are many relationships (marriages too) with amazing pretty partners who are at war with each other and only present to the public a nice portrait. Are you getting the flow there?
While I was chitchatting with one of the elderly colleague I work with one day, she said : “It is not the character that will first get a lady a relationship because it is first what appears on the outside that will ‘engage’ the other party, then the place of character will come in to keep that relationship. But first it is the God-factor that has to get the guy to look in your direction as there are many pretty-faced ladies out there who are still very single”. I hope this statement helps you to understand my stance of the appearance thing.
Let me drop it here for you to adequately digest. This write-up will definitely be continued in the next post… be sure to stay in touch.