A girl was brought up in a poor home. A home where the only time the mother smiles is when the father has some money to give her.
A home where anytime the father couldn’t provide, it was war. She grows up understanding love to be “ability to provide”. Then, she meets a boy…
A young boy was raised in a wealthy home. A home where they lacked nothing but the father’s attention. The only time he ever saw his mum happy, the father was around. He grew up to understand love as “being available at all times”. Then, he met a girl…
A young girl grew up in a home where the parents were strict and hard. She was rarely forgiven for her mistakes and she was scolded bitterly whenever she transgresses. A mother sometimes call her aside when she cries and tells her, “my daughter, you know we are not just hard on you for no reason. We love you and we don’t want you to go astray”. The girl grew up to understand love as “being tough and hard”. Then, she meets a prospective life partner…
A young boy grew up around an ever peevish dad. A dad whom his wife goes to any length to please. The few times he saw his father in a good mood was when his mother almost knocked herself unconscious trying to please the dad. To an extent, his dad once demanded for oral sex from his mom right in front of him. After some hesitation, the mother gave in with a smile at the boy. She asked the boy to leave but the boy saw it all peeping through the keyhole on his room’s door. He grew up to understand love as…
…“being submissive”. Then, a beautiful girl comes his way…
Sometimes, Life plays a dirty prank
on us by match making us on the basis of our weaknesses rather than strengths… and most times, the joke is on us because we often are too blind to see our ineptitude for what it is. Weakness!
A boy that understands love as being charming and sweet meets a girl that understands love as being tough and hard. To the boy, he made sure he was the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Yet, the girl didn’t feel loved, simply because the boy complained every single day about the girl’s unromantic and rigid approach to their relationship. The boy didn’t feel loved, though he loved the girl. The girl also didn’t feel loved, though her love for the boy wasn’t to be questioned.
What do you think the boy and the girl’s answers would be if they were asked who was responsible for their breakup should they breakup?!
Back to my story!
The boy and the girl got tired of complaining about each other… and their breakup was just a question of time, it was sure.
Most of the times, we refuse to see from our partner’s perspective. We don’t bother to find out why they act how they do. We simply want to live within our own ideals and understanding of how things should be.
Communication goes a long way in avoiding problems in relationships
and even more, solve them should they arise. However, it’s not enough. As a partner, you must be willing to compromise your ideals, you must be willing to titrate your ideals with that of your partner. You must be willing to meet them halfway.
And if your gut tells you that adopting some of your partner’s ideal would on the long run be unhealthy for you, seek help by talking to a counselor. Not friends, not family members, COUNSELORS.
This post is not aimed at shutting family and friends out, but these set of people are not the best judges for they are mostly sentimental about such matters and these sentimentality often causes more harm than good.
A proper relationship is a two-way thing. Give and receive. Anything asides that is unhealthy.
This is a guest post. I’ll really like to appreciate the writer for the exclusive rights given to post this article and you my beloved readers.
Every single word in there is the whole essence of this blog and what I stand for – Speak to a Counselor today, Speak to me. Love is worth every ounce of its purpose; both Romantic and Agape, Let nothing soil it’s peace.
Also guys, it is that time of the year I’ll have to take a break from posting as we talked about from the very beginning on the blog; to get some other works done which of course will be briefed to you before the year ends. Thank you😇.
Your humble space-friend-in-love,
Full Write up Credits : Ishola Olawale Abdulgafar.
Edits By : My Male Editor😊, @Maestromuzikal.