Relationships / The Witty

The Complexities Of Relationships And The Importance Of Seeking Expert Advice


A girl was brought up in a poor home. A home where the only time the mother smiles is when the father has some money to give her.

A home where anytime the father couldn’t provide, it was war. She grows up understanding love to be “ability to provide”. Then, she meets a boy…

A young boy was raised in a wealthy home. A home where they lacked nothing but the father’s attention. The only time he ever saw his mum happy, the father was around. He grew up to understand love as “being available at all times”. Then, he met a girl…

A young girl grew up in a home where the parents were strict and hard. She was rarely forgiven for her mistakes and she was scolded bitterly whenever she transgresses. A mother sometimes call her aside when she cries and tells her, “my daughter, you know we are not just hard on you for no reason. We love you and we don’t want you to go astray”. The girl grew up to understand love as “being tough and hard”. Then, she meets a prospective life partner…

A young boy grew up around an ever peevish dad. A dad whom his wife goes to any length to please. The few times he saw his father in a good mood was when his mother almost knocked herself unconscious trying to please the dad. To an extent, his dad once demanded for oral sex from his mom right in front of him. After some hesitation, the mother gave in with a smile at the boy. She asked the boy to leave but the boy saw it all peeping through the keyhole on his room’s door. He grew up to understand love as…
“being submissive”. Then, a beautiful girl comes his way…

Sometimes, Life plays a dirty prank

on us by match making us on the basis of our weaknesses rather than strengths… and most times, the joke is on us because we often are too blind to see our ineptitude for what it is. Weakness!

A boy that understands love as being charming and sweet meets a girl that understands love as being tough and hard. To the boy, he made sure he was the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Yet, the girl didn’t feel loved, simply because the boy complained every single day about the girl’s unromantic and rigid approach to their relationship. The boy didn’t feel loved, though he loved the girl. The girl also didn’t feel loved, though her love for the boy wasn’t to be questioned.

Time out!

What do you think the boy and the girl’s answers would be if they were asked who was responsible for their breakup should they breakup?!

Back to my story!

The boy and the girl got tired of complaining about each other… and their breakup was just a question of time, it was sure.
Most of the times, we refuse to see from our partner’s perspective. We don’t bother to find out why they act how they do. We simply want to live within our own ideals and understanding of how things should be.

Communication goes a long way in avoiding problems in relationships

and even more, solve them should they arise. However, it’s not enough. As a partner, you must be willing to compromise your ideals, you must be willing to titrate your ideals with that of your partner. You must be willing to meet them halfway.

And if your gut tells you that adopting some of your partner’s ideal would on the long run be unhealthy for you, seek help by talking to a counselor. Not friends, not family members, COUNSELORS.

This post is not aimed at shutting family and friends out, but these set of people are not the best judges for they are mostly sentimental about such matters and these sentimentality often causes more harm than good.

A proper relationship is a two-way thing. Give and receive. Anything asides that is unhealthy.

This is a guest post. I’ll really like to appreciate the writer for the exclusive rights given to post this article and you my beloved readers.

Every single word in there is the whole essence of this blog and what I stand for – Speak to a Counselor today, Speak to me. Love is worth every ounce of its purpose; both Romantic and Agape, Let nothing soil it’s peace.

Also guys, it is that time of the year I’ll have to take a break from posting as we talked about from the very beginning on the blog; to get some other works done which of course will be briefed to you before the year ends. Thank youπŸ˜‡.

Your humble space-friend-in-love,
Full Write up Credits : Ishola Olawale Abdulgafar.
Edits By : My Male Editor😊, @Maestromuzikal.

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About Author

Hey there, welcome to my blog; a faith, relationship and lifestyle blog. Thank you for the opportunity to share my world and knowledge with you. Stay with me as we cruise and explore on life matters as it relates to me and you.


  • Philip
    October 25, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    Nice write up, keep it up.

    • horptie
      October 27, 2018 at 8:07 am

      Thank you for reading. I’m glad you were able to relate with it.

  • Phemmy
    October 25, 2018 at 11:06 pm

    Good view, thumbs up. I hope you enjoy expressing yourself and you’re finding it fun.?
    *Being relevant isn’t the real deal staying relevant is the real deal* very true. Even if attaining relevance has it own cost.
    The greatest mystery in life is *time and chance*.
    Ecclesiastes 9:11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
    *Keep on keeping on.* enjoy expressing yourself, when the *time* comes and the *chance* presents itself the world will hear you. I hope and pray they meet you prepared when they happen to you. *The reward of hard work is more work* πŸ˜‰

  • rue202
    October 27, 2018 at 1:27 am

    Quick question: What about going to Yah/God about it all?

    • horptie
      October 27, 2018 at 8:01 am

      That is absolutely necessary. You’ll tell God to soften the heart of that person, to open their heart and help them see/understand clearly for all to be resolved. Also so that there can be a solution to it all, for God to send you the right counsel using the right counsellor.
      But I need to remind you that God has given us brains for a reason. Also God has left some affairs to man to handle (He made us in His likeness, don’t forget) – He has left the affairs of man to men. The Bible also tells us to seek godly counsel (Proverbs 19:20). God can speak to you on how to calm a problem/ understand the perspective of someone, He could also expect you to talk to someone who will help you understand all that could be happening (God speaks to us via diverse ways). When you are in situations as this – that concerns you/your emotions, often times than not, you aren’t thinking clearly (you may be pissed, confused, angry, etc, and so you knowing how to deal with it rationally is restricted).
      Basically, this is why God has given some persons the ministry of counselling/words of wisdom (1Corinthians 12:8).
      Do you understand what I mean?

      • rue202
        October 27, 2018 at 8:16 am

        I think I do. I know God/Yah speaks to us through others. I was just thinking of what my parents do if they have a disagreement – they both go to Yah/God and ask Him about the problem.

        • horptie
          October 27, 2018 at 8:22 am

          Yes, it is right for them to go to God to help them resolve whatever the disagreement they may be having by showing them the way to deal with the issue, by asking God to speak to the heart of the next person or even theirs.
          Also, there are different levels of disagreements. There are some that can be solved amicably between both partners while some might have escalated and really needs a godly wise person to help resolve.
          I hope this is clearer to you now.

          • rue202
            October 27, 2018 at 8:41 am


          • horptie
            October 27, 2018 at 9:09 am

            I am glad. Thank you so so much for taking out time to read and ask for clarifications. God help us all.
            Have an amazing weekend

          • rue202
            October 27, 2018 at 10:30 am

            May you have an amazing weekend!

          • horptie
            October 27, 2018 at 10:37 am

            Thank you 😊

  • The Eclectic Contrarian
    November 28, 2018 at 4:08 am

    Communication is imperative! Between the couple and to the Lord.

    • horptie
      November 28, 2018 at 8:08 am

      Absolutely correct!


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