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Why we play along; Guys

 

Why we play along; Guys

The last post brought in some responses that as much as I do not totally agree with them, I must say there are indeed circumstances that allow some guys decide to stay in relationships they already know are futile, yet do not mind – and since you all know the blog has promised to always lead with authenticity and impartiality, I’m here to share all the details as well as enlighten us.

Some persons reached out to me as regards the post 👉 { https://horptie.wordpress.com/2018/12/13/too-scared-to-ask/ }, saying that sometimes, it is not always the guys fault why the relationship ended badly for those ladies who we classified as “not been able to ask their guys where they both were headed initially”. So of course I inquired their views on the matter and quite amazingly they did come up with seemingly convincing points.

I’m not sure if to highlight as bullet points, but just follow me…

• They claimed the ladies make it hard for them to want to opt out at an early point when they realise they no longer have interest in the whole thing.

Excuse you! What an excuse to give. And then I ask, how come they are eventually able to find their way out? Like how come they didn’t, out of the ‘fear’ then stay till the very end if they had always thought it “wrong” to leave the lady??

Will anyone be kind enough to answer that now!?

You say this lady sometimes realize her bad attitudes and changes and then you see yourself able to condone it but then again she switches which is finally why you decided to leave. Or you say, she says or that you thought she would get better but she didn’t.

• Excuses of not wanting to break the lady’s heart. Really? You apparently just shattered it my dear. You want to know what you did in there? You pieced the heart into too many halves the lady may not be able to put together ever again except by the divine strength of God.

I believe the approach of continual deception till you find it absolutely

“ready/right” for you to leave is alarming. In fact, I almost believe and thank God you guys did not end up together because if you did, you would definitely behave worse-off in the marriage and guess what my darling, it is absolutely better to be single or marry late than to end up with the wrong person or a pathetic being (I’m sorry but that seems like the only way I can qualify my grievance about you).

• Stating that you considered staying with her out of pity, or judging from the total length of time spent together and not wanting it all to be a waste! Thank Jesus for touching your heart to not go ahead with actually staying and it was only a consideration you had.

• Or that you didn’t realize you would meet somebody you’d appreciate better than her. Let me tell you something, there is always, I mean always someone who will be/appear better than whoever it is you are currently with; even if you guys are already married. So are you inferring then that you won’t mind leaving the spouse you swore “for better or for worse” with because something glittery passed by!?

Learn to be content is all I can say to you here.

My opinion in all of these?

– Don’t let emotions be “rule”. Why be led blindly by just feelings when the consequences from it can be almost unendurable!

– There is more to living than being stuck in a wrong relationship with the wrong person. Or putting your life on hold because you think you can only find fulfilment from being joined with a partner.

– Don’t waste anybody’s time for any reason, even if it seems justifiable. Please! There is more harm in it than any good… some people are never able to recover from it; like, have you

been out there, to the psychiatric hospitals and enquired on the majority cause of those in there? They will mostly respond to you by saying love-gone-wrong cases. Others just do not get to live a full life anymore and some just have ticked all the boxes of ever meeting anyone they can desire again except God divinely intervenes.

– Never let pity allow you bury yourself in an everlasting grave. Marriage is a “forever venture” trust me (with exception to cases of domestic violence and some others), and for this you have to do it right and give it the best you have else it can be hell while living on earth even if you are married to the right person (i.e who God originally destined for you) but because of silly mistakes or lackadaisical attitudes you ruin moments that should be grounds for merriment for you and your spouse and then your family as a whole.

Think about it – those little things you do, that honestly you know deep down are hazardous to a healthy relationship, stop them. Other ones you truthfully do not know; learn to listen to your partner in times they react and at appropriate times, you should use the magic words as “Please”, “Sorry” and “Thank You”; these words are gold when rightly applied!

There are so many, too many more reasons that can be given but they won’t fit in well on paper. So, you want to hear me out more or want to share, or just need someone to talk to; to advise or just listen… you can reach out to me, at any time literally and I’ll do my best to be there for you. Or are you in a relationship whose future you are uncertain about and you need advice as to how to go about getting clarity? Please reach out to me. I will be happy to help.

The Season is here guys; when our Lord Jesus Christ was born – and you shouldn’t forget that it is much more than just His birth but rather we Christians believe also in His Crucifixion, Death and of course His Resurrection which is all we stand for and that justifies our existence and our course for celebration.

Join me in saying “THANK YOU JESUS”.

Your humble space-friend-in-love,
Horptie.

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23 Comments

  • Dee Awata
    December 24, 2018 at 5:55 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this piece great job!

    Reply
    • horptie
      December 24, 2018 at 6:58 pm

      Thank you! I’m glad it touched a part of you. Cheers to the Season 🙂

      Reply
  • The Eclectic Contrarian
    January 8, 2019 at 11:10 pm

    It just comes down to both putting their 100% in the relationship. When things start getting dumb, someone’s not doing something right.

    Reply
    • horptie
      January 9, 2019 at 2:11 pm

      Absolutely… or they both aren’t doing something right. Thank you for your contribution. Can I ask what’s up with those couple you gave an insight about the last time?

      Reply
      • The Eclectic Contrarian
        January 9, 2019 at 2:14 pm

        Still separated. I think he wants her back. But still not making moves to mature much. She’s already got a boyfriend and owns her own business now. He’s going to have to really step up his game!

        Reply
        • horptie
          January 9, 2019 at 2:16 pm

          Whao! That’s quite big and apart (if you get what I mean). He really does have to step up his game. Perhaps have you hinted him on that act?

          Reply
          • The Eclectic Contrarian
            January 9, 2019 at 2:21 pm

            I’ve talked to him about it. He’s just gonna have to stop being a lazy kid and be a husband who wants his wife!

          • horptie
            January 9, 2019 at 2:38 pm

            I hope he realises this in very good time and I guess you should also not get weary of reminding him from time to time

          • The Eclectic Contrarian
            January 9, 2019 at 2:41 pm

            Do I want them to stay married? Yes!! I really do! I want every perceivable great thing for them. But I also know how wishy washy he can be. And I don’t want them to get back together and end up in this situation again. I’m between wanting this to work, but also knowing sometimes things just happen.

          • horptie
            January 9, 2019 at 3:34 pm

            Hmmm, quite something especially since it is coming from you as his close friend. This seriously means he has a lot of work to do on himself and maybe in more areas than just the relationship.
            It was really good catching up, it’s a honour that you shared. Thank you.
            Can I ask? how about you… how is your relationship or more, something you’d like to share?

          • The Eclectic Contrarian
            January 9, 2019 at 3:36 pm

            I’m well! You should know by now I’m always up for conversation!

          • horptie
            January 9, 2019 at 3:42 pm

            I know so… you did not particularly give an answer to what I asked there though 😄😄. But it’s so good talking…

          • The Eclectic Contrarian
            January 9, 2019 at 3:52 pm

            Everything is well! If it weren’t I’d tell you!

          • horptie
            January 9, 2019 at 3:56 pm

            I absolutely believe so… stay awesome dearie

          • The Eclectic Contrarian
            January 9, 2019 at 4:04 pm

            I’m not running you off!

          • horptie
            January 9, 2019 at 4:05 pm

            Ha ha haa… I’m all here ☺☺

          • The Eclectic Contrarian
            January 9, 2019 at 4:33 pm

            Let’s talk about a controversial subject… how do you feel about interracial relationships?

          • horptie
            January 9, 2019 at 4:43 pm

            Smiles…
            It will be nice to share but as I told someone earlier today, I won’t speak on topics where my knowledge and spirit is just being tested to know my stance except it actually is an issue that needs sorting.
            You get? I could decide to discuss on the blog generally, as the spirit leads, but not plainly when I am “tested”.

          • The Eclectic Contrarian
            January 9, 2019 at 4:44 pm

            I apologize! Not trying to make you uncomfortable!

          • horptie
            January 9, 2019 at 4:48 pm

            Not at all, it’s not an uncomfortable situation here… it’s just my stance.
            Still, if you want clarifications, let’s do this via mail – horptieluv4ril@yahoo.com. Thank you

          • The Eclectic Contrarian
            January 9, 2019 at 4:51 pm

            I feel bad for bringing it up.

          • horptie
            January 9, 2019 at 5:22 pm

            No please, I could have done the same.

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