As a good friend that I am and have always been (at least in my head and to the best of trials I give it), staying available for friends and folks has always been a continuous aim I try to keep up with but alas, I am reminded that it doesn’t always work that way nor does it have to be that way.
So, sometime last month I had an event at a venue quite distant from my residential apartment. I knew I had to be smart because of the stress I foresaw in meeting up with the event as against punctuality and attendance plus the expenses to be incurred.
The thoughts of which of my close friends could put up with my kinda life based on past relationship and history and two of them kept popping up in my mind… Well I thought, “Let’s do this!” Lol.
So I called one of the two persons most suitable for my situation and lo, my request was straight up declined! No tangible explanation, at least it didn’t seem like one from my end but end of story. I had just one alternative. “Instead of having that kinda cancel again like the previous, let me make the request in person. That should reduce the chances of foul plays” I thought quickly. Hahaha … like I am entitled to it, right?
Anyways, I guess my smart game hit jackpot and so let’s say I got lucky at that point till the series of events that played out in my head took turns *rolling eyeballs*.
I hope you’re still on track with me here?
Please, follow me…
In a female to female friendship I can boldly tell you based on personal experience that the families of each party matters a lot to the success or otherwise of that “relationship”! There will be cases of the mother of one throwing attitudes to the friends of her daughter and this is understandable. This is why I’ll advise that you avoid unnecessary or too much familiarities!!!
Damn! Avoid it!
It is only somebody that is valued or seen in high esteem that has a good standing with
you. Don’t go where you are not wanted. If you can, reduce the time you spend visiting some friends. Yes, they love you. Yes, you are best of friends but let me inform you that at some points some attitudes will definitely show that will make you feel less respected by such friends. Keep your respect.
Whatever you have going on for you today wouldn’t always be there.
When you are not welcome somewhere, you will feel it. Only a person with sense after he/she sees attitudes from the family of friends will know when to give the friendship-relationship a break! So take a step backwards and maintain dignity.
That said, let’s move to the other parties in the family. However your friend knows to place value on you with utterances and attitudes towards you will determine how the other members of the friend’s family will also act towards you.
Excuse me… you say you know how much you mean to somebody based on the past relationship you’ve had with them; maybe praises you’ve been hailed with. You feel you and that friend have had to go through a lot together right? The many memories shared, help rendered. Those good deeds expressed in the friendship and the likes…
Ultimately it is the reactions you get in person that ends up counting.
I’m not sure you got that…
Whatever somebody thinks of you in their minds, sooner or later will begin to manifest. You can’t think of loving somebody and not act it sincerely. Pretense is always only for a while, the reality will surface and at that time, I hope you stay smart enough to make the best decisions.
I want to believe all of these are equally correct in a guy to guy friendship-relationship too… please feel free to contribute if you think otherwise.
Perhaps the differences may be leniency in how the family get to chip in on the friendship. The guys could decide to change meeting locations more often to avoid so
much encounters with family. Also, they would tend to do more of code-talking and not let family in on many of what runs through between them. But all of these only when the feelings is mutual and sense equal.
Many are in denial about what they think the interpretation of some other person’s is to them. I beg that you open your inner mind and let good instincts do the work… it rarely ever fails.
In total, all of these counts when the sense is on both sides o, you can not be evil and expecting good. Are you the devil!?? LOL. (Don’t take that too harshly… just read with a playful tone). #Smiles.
I love you, I do. Learn to love yourself too… that’s most important.