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How Not To Love

How Not To Love.

Maybe everyone already has an idea what love is and how supposedly loving as an act is being carried out.
Ehn o, from those “chewing gum” briefs we are being given in movies scripts.

My dear, it is absolutely possible to love somebody and not be loved back in return. Quite unfortunately.
I mean…

True loving is you giving your totality because you trust that’s the healthy thing to do for a fellow mankind. And so you show some true agape (selfless) love by expressing wholeheartedly and not holding back.

Oh well, this may not be the case in a relationship/romantic love setting because I myself won’t advice that you stay put in a toxic situation – just kukuma say you want to kill yourself peradventure you decide to want to stay.

I mean, how do you express such deep emotions and feelings and the other person just decides it can be taken for granted.

Bruv!!! Move it.

Let no sister be holding you down and wasting your heart condition๐Ÿ˜‰. LOL.

Love in relationships is a delicate matter and truth be told, there really isn’t one single principle to how the relationship should work out through its phases. But definitely, there is an end goal – sanity through it all.

Bruv!!! That thing is life. I remember one relationship like that. After the whole messy breakup, lady involved had to give herself such great time off as unconsciously she was sure she was loosing it mentally. It was just too much for her to take in.

At that point, the only advice I could stretch forth was to tell her to imagine that she got married to this same guy and he really started misbehaving and to crown it, he was maltreating her really badly. So I’m like what if that did happen, what would she then do… like would she actually really want herself badly injured or deformed before she knows the right action to take!?

(Please you can share what you possibly would have done. Maybe, just maybe what advice you would have given to soothe her).
You do not love that way. My dear, you should not commit to a lopsided relationship all in the name of loving your partner!

Avoid emotionally weak partners;

they know the right way to love but are too lazy to express it. These ones gladly get you mentally disconnected from your focus, from that right thing you should be directing your energy at to produce amazing results.

You alone know your heart and intentions, so except you are fortunate enough to be with someone who reciprocates your love energy, Iโ€™ll say back off! However, some persons are given more grace than the others to help pull up their partners and oftentimes this attribute comes handy where one is with another person who needs urging from time to time on how some love stuff should be expressed. Sometimes you have to give love and its mode of expression time to grow in the other person. The only good thing here is, there is a deep liking in that person already and so it is easier to nurture these feelings.

Did you catch that?

There is that kind of love that requires pampering and tending before it eventually comes to be a full-fledged mutual-love relationship. But only where both parties have the consensus to want to make it work out. In a lot of cases, one person is already so into the love affair which makes it much easier to carry the other person along. But I repeat, this sort of arrangement works only where there is a solid agreement (verbal or otherwise) by way of commitments and stuff that you both really want the relationship and you both want it to work.
But where that is not the case, where you sense the other person is not as into it or as committed then, I probably will give that same advice over and over and definitely to different sexes because I mean… this person you’re about loosing your senses for isn’t even looking back to peep at how you are faring and you are about to lose everything for a moment of nonsense that wasnโ€™t bound to last anyways!!!!

You, I, We… definitely are better than that.

I’ve had a few thoughts on how love in a relationship/marriage should really be like but damn, I sure did find a whole new one.

Follow me.

I never thought about loving this way but yes, I think I will agree, at least to some extent that …

“I do not ever want to be madly in love ever again”

Rather,

“I want to be healthy in love, sanely in love and peacefully in love”

Seriously, that statement makes a whole new lot of sense!!

I mean, it is okay to “crave a love so deep that the oceans will be jealous”…

Yes, that is my goal.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know I am a fanatic for love. I love whole too deeply, be it romance or non-romantic.

But like I said in a previous article… I only ever want to date intentionally, court intelligently then marry and be in love

blindly and without fears. This can only happen where my emotions are in line with my senses backed up by the Holy Spirit leading! ๐Ÿ˜Š

Intentional dating y’all especially ladies, as we are like the gullible ones most times…. that’s the deal!

Don’t be neither here nor there when it has to do with matters of your emotional health and stability.

Be firm!!

Lawd, that thing sure is deep… LET’S BE SMART my dears.

I’m not there, in fact let’s say I’m almost not close but at least I know I haven’t missed it yet as I still have the opportunity to put all of these to use too (just as I am trying to give you the chance with this information).

God help us all.

Your Sweetheart,
Horptie.

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About Author

Colleagues call me Horptie, friends and family call me Titilope, my favorite though is Tytylurpe. I am a combination of all three. A Relationship Counselor, rational psych, transitionist yet a whelming being in all sense of the word.

9 Comments

  • Oluwafemi J. O
    December 19, 2019 at 1:46 pm

    Interesting!!!

    But then, moving on is not as easy as it sounds, especially when it’s all you’ve got at the moment… The basic is having some defining indicators… You must have that self conviction that “this is it”.

    Reply
    • horptie
      December 19, 2019 at 3:19 pm

      Very true. I couldn’t agree less especially where one have had to come out of one or two previous (bad) relationships.
      See it this way then, moving on is all you have to keep sane… trust me, you will fight for that. I am also very aware that not everyone is that strong so ultimately we have to lay it all down to God… He owns our heart and can rule on how it functions – only if you commit it to Him.
      You get?

      Thank you for stopping by, I’m glad you had a good read. Please remember to Subscribe and definitely Share!

      Reply
  • eromosele
    December 19, 2019 at 3:19 pm

    makes alot of sense..

    Reply
    • horptie
      December 19, 2019 at 3:21 pm

      Hello!
      I’m glad you think that…
      Thank you for your time here.

      Reply
  • Michael
    December 22, 2019 at 1:08 pm

    I want to be sanely in love too. Lol!

    Reply
    • horptie
      May 18, 2020 at 9:10 am

      Yes oo, that’s the only healthy way to loving and doing it right!

      Reply
  • Amakaa
    May 3, 2020 at 8:06 pm

    New blog, whoโ€™s this๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿพ

    Reply
    • horptie
      May 4, 2020 at 10:57 pm

      Yes oooo!! Thanks a lot babe, and you are welcome to this space ๐Ÿ˜˜

      Reply
  • Victoria Olaronke
    May 18, 2020 at 9:42 am

    Gracias

    Reply

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